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                            快樂課堂

                            把動物當人寫,妙趣橫生

                            來源:創新作文發布時間:2017-11-07瀏覽數:341
                            譚 玲
                              “小貓滿月的時候更可愛,腿腳還不穩,可是已經學會淘氣。一根雞毛,一個線團,都是它的好玩具,耍個沒完沒了……它的頭撞在門上,桌腿上,撞疼了也不哭。”老舍爺爺為什么能把小貓寫得活靈活現呢?因為他把小貓當人來寫了。

                            周曾致遠
                              放學回家的路上,一只小狗像我的影子一樣跟著我。快到家了,我對它說:“小狗,我到家了,你也快回自己的家吧!”它卻咬著我的褲腳,望著我,仿佛在說:“我無家可歸,你收養我吧!”我于心不忍,只好把它帶回家。

                              一回到家,我就拿出一根火腿腸給它吃,它三下五除二就把火腿腸給吃完了,可它依然可憐巴巴地望著我汪汪叫,似乎在說:“我餓極了,再給我一根吧!”

                              瞧,小作者用“把動物當人寫”這個妙招就把小狗寫活了!小作者與小狗對話,小狗把乒乓球、籃球當玩具,把客廳當球場,還會惡作劇,瞧,小狗多么機靈、可愛啊!
                             

                            彭楊清
                              十幾條魚兒在大魚缸里快活地游來游去。它們身上的服裝五彩繽紛,瞧,有的穿著紅白相間的婚紗,有的穿著金色的長裙,有的穿著黑亮的晚禮服……魚兒們就像模特一樣,一個接一個閃亮登場了!不一會兒,它們又開起了舞會,一會兒跳芭蕾舞,一會兒跳拉丁舞。有幾條魚兒害羞地躲進水草叢中、假山里,難道它們覺得自己的服裝不夠美?
                             
                              魚兒們穿著華麗的服裝進行時裝表演,還翩翩起舞;躲進水草叢中、假山里的魚兒因為沒有漂亮的服裝而害羞。小作者巧妙地運用擬人手法描繪了魚兒的外形、神態,以及動作特點,真是妙趣橫生呀!


                            丁國帆
                              我和小伙伴釣了幾只小螃蟹,大的和礦泉水瓶的瓶蓋一樣大,小的如指甲蓋兒一般。它們在盆里爬來爬去,“嗒嗒嗒”地跳起了踢踏舞。不一會兒,它們鼓著眼睛瞪著我們,氣勢洶洶地舞著鉗子,抗議起來:“放我們出去!放我們出去!”我管那只黑蟹叫李逵,那只黃蟹叫黃大俠。我想讓李逵翻跟頭,把它翻過身,誰知我剛碰到它的鎧甲,就被它緊緊鉗住,痛得我齜牙咧嘴。李逵瞪著我,仿佛在說:“不給你點兒顏色看看,你還不知道我的厲害呢!”
                             
                              “跳起了踢踏舞”“氣勢洶洶地舞著鉗子”“瞪著我”等細節描寫賦予小螃蟹人的情感和行為。通篇運用擬人手法,把小螃蟹刻畫得惟妙惟肖。
                             
                             
                            拓展練習
                              把動物當人寫,要展開豐富的想象,賦予動物人的神態、動作、語言。小朋友,你不妨也試一試用這個小妙招來描寫動物吧!
                              1.用擬人的手法寫一寫鸚鵡的外形特點吧。
                             
                              參考答案:“鸚鵡圍著繡著花紋的翠綠色頭巾,身穿粉色的上衣,披著寶石藍的外套,脖子上戴著一條金色的項鏈,腳上還穿著一雙褐色的靴子,簡直是位貴婦人。”

                              2.動物園里的小猴最吸引小朋友的眼球,你來寫一寫小猴的動作吧?
                             
                              參考答案:“一只小猴在蕩秋千,越蕩越高,還得意地看著我們。另一只小猴走在搖搖晃晃的鐵鏈上,鎮定自若,就像一個老練的雜技演員。猴媽媽一只手抱著猴寶寶,另一只手攀著藤蔓往山上爬。它望著猴寶寶,仿佛在叮囑它:‘寶貝,抱緊媽媽,千萬別松手了!’”

                            ◆廣西大學君武小學
                            (選自《創新作文》3、4年級2017年第7期“考試加油站”欄目

                             

                             

                             

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