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                            快樂課堂

                            寫出不一樣的你我他

                            來源:創新作文發布時間:2017-11-07瀏覽數:498
                            新新姐姐

                             

                             

                              每個人身上都有自己的特點。有的人很胖,有的人很瘦;有的人臉上有痘痘,有的人笑起來有皺紋;有的人有酒窩,還有的人喜歡皺著眉頭……只有把每個人身上不同的特點描述出來,筆下的人物才會栩栩如生。
                              我們平時一寫到小姑娘,就喜歡寫:圓圓的眼睛,彎彎的眉毛,扎著一個馬尾辮,一笑起來就露出兩個小酒窩。一寫到媽媽就是:不高不矮的個子,大大的眼睛,高高的鼻梁,特別嘮叨。一寫到老師,就是:身材不胖不瘦,瓜子臉,戴著一副眼鏡,表情嚴肅極了……我聽到有些同學在捂著嘴偷偷笑了,是的,這就是我們編輯姐姐平時收到的作文,也是同學們寫人物外貌的套路。笑過后,我們來想一想,如何把一個個人物寫好,讓別人一看到你的文字,立刻知道你寫的是誰呢?我們先來看一位小作者的文章吧——
                             
                             

                             

                            妹妹來了(片段)

                             
                             

                             

                              這時,妹妹醒了,她的眼睛閃亮閃亮的,就像夜空中一閃一閃的星星。眼睛下面那小小的鼻子特別精致。粉紅粉紅的小嘴巴正“吧唧吧唧”地吮吸著自己的小手指,把她那張白凈的小臉襯得格外可愛。

                              妹妹特別喜歡吃,吃完媽媽的奶,又要吃90毫升的牛奶。要是不給她吃,她就號啕大哭,好像受了天大的委屈,哭得讓人心疼,媽媽只好放下飯碗喂她吃奶。剛碰到奶瓶,她的小嘴馬上緊緊含住奶嘴,貪婪地吮吸著。你瞧,她吃高興了,一邊吃一邊還伸伸小手,踢踢小腳,逗得大家哈哈大笑。此時,若輕輕碰她一下,她便像被閃電擊中了一般,哇哇大叫,生怕別人奪走她的美餐。  
                            江蘇丹陽市實驗小學  龐 茜
                            指導老師:任金輝
                             
                             

                             

                            點評:

                              瞧,小作者對剛出生的妹妹觀察得多么仔細啊,雪白的身子、烏黑的頭發、閃亮的眼睛、小巧的鼻子和粉紅色的小嘴巴,讓人一看就心生喜愛。她正是抓住了妹妹的外貌特點,適當運用比喻的修辭手法,妹妹的形象頓時躍然紙上。那有什么秘訣能把人物的外貌描寫更生動呢?

                             

                             

                              新新姐姐總結了兩個描寫人物的小妙招,和大家一起快樂分享吧!

                            第一招,抓住人物的外貌特點。
                              寫人離不開對五官的描寫,五官每個人都有,這時你可以想一想,你要寫的人物五官有哪些特點,比如他的眼睛是不是小小的,一邊單眼皮,一邊雙眼皮?他的嘴巴一刻也不閑著,不是在吃東西,就是在說話?或者他一笑起來,露出的小虎牙是不是特別引人注意……瞧,每個人都有和別人不一樣的特征,抓住這些特征描寫出來,你筆下的人物就有自己的特點了。
                            第二招,外貌描寫要能反映出人物的性格特點。
                              一個人的外貌往往和他的性格特點有著千絲萬縷的聯系。一個胖胖的人,一般都會喜歡吃,是個樂天派;一個戴著眼鏡的小學生,往往性格比較文靜,喜歡看書,或者喜歡玩游戲;喜歡皺著眉頭的爸爸,額頭上一定有一個“川”字,這樣的人一般喜歡思考問題;有酒窩的老師呢,則喜歡笑;那些抿著嘴的人,一般比較嚴肅;臉經常紅的孩子則比較害羞……瞧,很多時候,外貌揭示了一個人的性格,所以我們在寫作文時要善于抓住這些獨具特色的外貌,筆下的人物形象才會鮮明起來。
                             
                             

                             

                            我們再來看兩個例子

                             

                             

                              1.豆豆7歲了,頭發短短的,小小的眼睛透著一股機靈勁兒。她一見陌生人就羞得把頭低下去,有時跑開了又悄悄地望著你,有時趁你不注意猛然叫一聲來嚇唬你。(性格:怕羞、天真、活潑。)

                              2.她叫丁丁,一頭卷發,嘴巴抿得緊緊的,總是不說話。(性格:文靜。) 
                            同學們從哪里看出這兩個小女孩的性格?沒錯,是她們的外貌。兩個小女孩都有自己的性格特點,性格決定了她們在穿著打扮等方面與別人有不同的地方。性格影響外貌,反過來說,根據一個人的外貌能看出一個人的性格。所以,我們在進行外貌描寫的時候,要注意通過外貌描寫反映出人物的性格特點。
                             

                             

                              大家都看明白了嗎?外貌描寫不要求面面俱到,而重在表現人物的性格,以“形”傳“神”。所以,在一篇文章中描寫人物外貌,要根據文章的中心或人物的性格特點選擇人物外貌最富特征的部分,舍棄與表現人物精神和性格無關的東西。你學會了嗎?

                            (選自《創新作文》3、4年級2017年第6期“考試加油站”欄目)

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